Heres the truth… I feel bad that I always blow you guys off.. I try not to avoid your calls. Im always at work.. over 12 hours a day 7 days aweek.. Tony is stuck here helping out now and he doesnt really know what the heck he is doing unless told what to do… but i guess hes in training… or what ever.. Champaign is the worst city I always visit… I dont miss the people any more… I miss the city it self… Theres always something different.. I just dont know how to explain my self.. And I shouldnt be making up excuses… Everyday people accuse me of making up excuses.. To cover up for shit i didnt do or shit i didnt get done.. Its not an excuse… I didnt get shit done.. I didnt do it.. In my case with you guys.. I keep blowing you offf and say Ill go help.. Each week is different… One week is busy.. one week its not… some days i feel like jumping in front of traffic some days I dont.. I just dont know what to do any more.. Im having an early mid-life crisis and I feel like giving up. Thats the only thing that explains it.. Stan brought up that idea.. I just dont know… I dont give a fuck about anything any more.. My morals and self pride arent what they used to be.. I feel worthless.. I dont know what else to say..
Im sorry..
Your Old Friend,
Casey
