itzdarave

From myspace bulletin: Aug 24, 2008 5:09 AM

Things have been really different in life lately. . . Being alone all this time dont kno what to do or think. I just have my self. No moral support from family since the teens. I dont give a rats ass what anyone thinks of me. I try to giv up on life but hope always finds a way. Mother earth has a plan for me. Broken mind, heart, soul. . . Still searching for a cure or the end. Millions of thoughts cross my mind in a second. Subconsiously reviewing the past in less than a heart beat. .

Last few months have been off track for me.. Undecided on what i want to do again.. at least i still wake up early enough to enjoy some of the day.. and go home and sleep.. instead of staying up all night.. work.. has been busy.. but its mainly all body work.. and I only enjoy doing body work at night.. during the day is to hot, and too sunny.. cant walk out side and stretch and not break a sweat during the day.           Tony has been a reall drag for me..  I need my own car.. so i dont have to pick him up and drop him off.. he wakes up too late and takes to long to get ready..  he gets bored to easily and doesnt know what to do or eat.. and shit.. blah blah blah.. its annoying..   i dont enjoy hanging out with him over 12 hours a day..  i have yet to file for my articles of incorporation too.. no motivation or drive at the moment.. its like subcontiously im thinking i dont know if i want to do this and be stuck here.. blah..  any how.. 

9 cars of body work.. LOL.. i plan on prepping and painting 4 bumpers today.. and wet sending a door on a mercedes… and doing body work on a 97 civic quarter panel.. and prepping the front fenders and hood and paint..   i think i can get that all done today.. if i put my time to use..

I need to depost this money in my pocket before i use it all buying shit for the shop..  =/ just spent over $100 today on shit..  ran outta checks for the shop.. LOL

Had a great fourth of a July.. Been slacking at work.. but progression.. will make its way.. big plans.. big ideas.. coming soon.. thats all i have to say.. I just do what i do.. to get to where i want to be..

Heres the truth… I feel bad that I always blow you guys off.. I try not to avoid your calls. Im always at work.. over 12 hours a day 7 days aweek.. Tony is stuck here helping out now and he doesnt really know what the heck he is doing unless told what to do… but i guess hes in training… or what ever..  Champaign is the worst city I always visit… I dont miss the people any more… I miss the city it self… Theres always something different.. I just dont know how to explain my self..  And I shouldnt be making up excuses… Everyday people accuse me of making up excuses.. To cover up for shit i didnt do or shit i didnt get done.. Its not an excuse… I didnt get shit done.. I didnt do it.. In my case with you guys.. I keep blowing you offf and say Ill go help.. Each week is different… One week is busy.. one week its not… some days i feel like jumping in front of traffic some days I dont..  I just dont know what to do any more.. Im having an early mid-life crisis and I feel like giving up.  Thats the only thing that explains it.. Stan brought up that idea.. I just dont know… I dont give a fuck about anything any more.. My morals and self pride arent what they used to be.. I feel worthless.. I dont know what else to say..

Im sorry..

Your Old Friend,

 Casey

Some would say its tight, some would say its dumb, some would says its “gay” Either you like it or you dont.. theres no middle…  theres more meaning behind the tat than you see just looking at it.. But who knows what it really means..

I Urinated in a cup, got my blood drawn, might height and weight etc..

for my Life insurance / retirement plan.. it was intresting.. havent gotten to see my blood drawn in a while.. it kinda made me woosy.. cause each beat of the heart was flowing into a tube.. LOL!!

but i weigh 198.5  with my uniform, wallet, fone, keys and pumas.. lol.. im 5’91/2″ with my shoes on.. lol…

Gonna start hitting the gym once a day next week.. get back in shape.. so i can round house kick peoples faces in… i mean i already can.. but i might pull a muscle..

My knee can fly into your face! bitches.. LOL